This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love
Today is, was going to be my 19th wedding anniversary with Amy. Yet another first in a relentless parade of unwanted firsts this year. They can’t be stopped and it can’t be predicted how each of these days will go. I don’t know which way my emotions will go today but I do know I miss my friend dearly.
When we said our “I do’s” 19 years ago we meant every single word. With love and passion for one another we committed ourselves to the care and betterment of each other. Our vows were not mere words said as part of some ceremony, but they were concrete foundation blocks on which our lives would be built stronger together than we could possibly be apart. For richer, for poor, in sickness, and in health.
When you speak those vows to your love and you say “till death do us part” you picture growing old together and having decades upon decades together. Ours was a relationship destined to be celebrated when in old age, people would ask us the keys to a happy marriage that could last for 50, 60, 70 years! The plans we had were not the plans God had for us however.
Today I remember my vows, in their initial utterance and through to their completion. My life is stronger today because of what God has built into it through Amy and through my precious time with her. My heart breaks to not have her by my side on this day, yet I know God’s will is perfect. While I miss Amy greatly, I know I am anything but alone. My God walks with me each and every step and reminds me daily of His love and goodness. He heals my broken heart and He mends my wounds (Ps. 147:3). He reminds me through my kids that I am loved and there is much joy in life. He reminds me through the Bible that He is with me, to guide my path by His very words (Ps. 119:105). Those same scriptures remind me of His Authority to do with our lives whatever He deems best (Mt. 28:18). He is wise and He is with me. He reminds me through my family who constantly go above and beyond to encourage and care for me and the kids. He reminds me through friends, co-workers, church family, prayer warriors, brothers and sisters in Christ, and new relationships that He and you are with me.
The Lord reminds me of His faithfulness each and every day. Some days I find I don’t have my eyes open enough to see it clearly, but His faithful love and provisions are always there. Each day the kids and I find ourselves cared for and loved by the Almighty Creator. We remember Amy together and we step forward into each new day, and God steps before us leading the way. His love knows no limits and He allows my heart to grow to love more than I ever thought possible.
I am so thankful that it is impossible to be separated from the love of God! Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Do you know the love of God in your life? Read Amy’s own words to find our own Hope and Strength.
He is with me. He comforts me. He provides for me. I look to the future and there is sunshine, there is hope, there is love.